This book portrays a young woman's
long battle with anorexia nervosa. It was put together by
Jennifer's father, Gordon Hendricks. Jennifer’s diaries form the
foundation of the book. Her father has gently edited her journal.
He has also included a few situations and circumstances which he
felt were significant and which were not in her diary. After a
protracted 11 year battle with the disease, with all its ups and
downs, Jennifer sadly succumbed to her illness at the age of
25. The book grants the reader a privileged access into
the emotional and psychological turmoil going on in the author's
mind during her illness. It is compelling reading and every
therapist who comes across this illness should read this
book.
Jennifer takes the readers in a step by step
manner through, what is described as a long journey through a
wasteland of failed treatments and therapies. She was given
false hopes and subjected to various therapies and treatments by
the mental health system which she felt did not help her.
Instead of understanding and dealing with her
attitude towards eating and her body image distortion, much
emphasis was placed on analyzing her past. She felt that therapists
looked for evidence of sexual abuse almost to the point of making
her believe that she had been abused. Some of the therapists
were single mindedly concerned with Jennifer regaining her
weight, ignoring how she felt when she regained weight and
what made her go back to her anorexic routines. This was
counterproductive as it aggravated the very condition it sought to
improve.
Readers can get a glimpse into the struggle
the family faced everyday to cope with her illness and the
devastation it has caused in the life of each family member. Her
father was very supportive of her throughout her illness but was
also trying to cope with the stress he was under. Her mother was
made to withdraw herself, both mentally and physically, from
Jennifer on medical advice. For Jennifer her illness was a lethal
obsession, a struggle for power over herself and she was constantly
battling with her illness. She was angry and had a rage inside her
which she felt could be due to repressed emotions of past sexual
abuse. She loathed and hated herself when she was unwell and this
became worse when she was gaining weight.
Her diary suggests that there was a widespread
lack of knowledge and understanding of eating disorders during the
1980s. The irregular and inconsistent treatment programs she faced
made her recovery process difficult. She writes that she was
sexual abused by a lesbian nurse while undergoing treatment and
that this, not surprisingly, worsened her condition.
This book gives the readers an insight into
the world of eating disorders and the mental agony of the living
with the condition. It portrays doctors and treatment from the
perspective of the sufferer.
Reviewed by Dr Bipin Ravindran