Priya, aged 10, talks about what it felt like when her parents divorced

 

 

"I can’t remember when Mummy and Daddy ever really liked each other. Uma, my sister, said they did when she was little, before I was born, but that was a long time ago.

 

Daddy doesn’t live with us anymore so we don’t get to see him much. He’s living with Nanny until he gets his own flat; but we can’t stay over at Nanny’s ‘cos she says mean things about Mummy. Daddy rings us every night but sometimes Mummy will get cross with him and hang up before we’ve had a chance to talk.

 

I don’t know why they don’t like each other anymore. I sometimes think it’s my fault as things seemed to go wrong after they had me. I think Uma blames me too. I can’t speak to Mummy or Daddy about it ‘cos I’m worried they’ll say it is my fault. Even if they didn’t, I probably wouldn’t believe them.

 

I sometimes talk to Miss Hunter, my teacher, about my family. My friend Kate’s parents split up a few years ago so she understands too. Her family all went for some sort of counselling together which Kate said was really good as it made them all listen to each other and talk without shouting. Kate hoped the counselling would mean her Daddy would move back home, but it didn’t work out that way.

 

I think my family should have counselling too, not to get Mummy and Daddy back together (I don’t think that’ll ever happen) but it might make them listen to me and Uma a bit more. Especially now they are talking about where we are going to live and how often we see Daddy.

 

Mummy said we might have to move house which might mean changing schools. Them splitting up doesn’t just mean Daddy doesn’t live with us anymore; our whole lives are different. I don’t think they get how hard this is for us."

© 2008 Royal College of Psychiatrists