Parental mental illness: the problems for children:
information for parents, carers and anyone who works with
young people
About this leaflet
This is one in a series of leaflets for
parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and
Growing Up. The aims of these leaflets are to provide
practical, up-to-date information about mental health problems
(emotional, behavioural and psychiatric disorders) that can affect
children and young people. This leaflet provides information on the
problems encountered by children who have a parent with a mental
illness, and gives some practical advice as to how to deal with
these problems.
Introduction
What is mental illness?
It is estimated that mental illness will
affect 1 in 4 of us at some time in our lives. When a person is
mentally healthy they feel good about themselves; they can do
everyday things easily, like going to school or work, and enjoying
their hobbies and friends. Even when things go wrong, they can
usually sort it out themselves although this may not be easy.
When someone becomes mentally ill, they may
find everyday things very difficult to do and they may feel
confused and upset a lot of the time. They may do things that seem
normal to them, but to other people watching they may seem
strange.
Children who have a parent with mental
illness
Many children will grow up with a parent who,
at some point, will have a mental illness. Most of these parents
will have mild or short-lived illnesses, and will usually be
treated by their general practitioner. A few children live with a
parent who has a severe mental illness such as
schizophrenia or bipolar
affective disorder. Putting it another way, 30% to 60% of
people with a severe mental illness have children.
Many more children live with a parent who has
a long-term mental health problem, such as
alcohol or
drug problems,
personality disorder or
depression.
Difficulties for children
Children often cope well when a parent is ill
for a short time. It is easier for them if they can understand why
their parent has become unwell. It is important that things are
explained to them, rather than being secretive about the problem.
Children do find it difficult to cope when the problem is more long
term. For many children in this situation, problems can arise if
they:
- are separated again and again from a parent who needs to go
into hospital for treatment
- are living with a parent who is very unwell and treated at
home
- feel unsure of their relationship with the parent with a mental
illness
- are not being looked after properly
- are being hit or mistreated (this is more likely if the parent
suffers from alcohol or drug problems or has personality
difficulties)
- are having to look after an ill parent, or are taking care of
brothers and sisters
- are being teased or bullied by others
- hear unkind things being said about their ill parent.
Many children will feel upset, frightened, worried by, or
ashamed of their parent's illness or behaviour at times
Problems that children may develop
Some children withdraw into themselves, become
anxious and find it difficult to concentrate on their school work.
They may find it very difficult to talk about their parent's
illness or their problems, which may stop them from getting help.
Children are often ashamed of their parent's illness and worry
about becoming ill themselves.
Some children are more at risk of developing
emotional problems themselves, particularly if they have:
- been abused or neglected
- seen a lot of arguments/violence between their parents
- a parent who misuses alcohol or drugs
- lived in poverty, poor housing or have had an unstable
life.
Where can I get help?
There are some steps that can be taken to try
and help avoid these problems and to make the child or young
person's life easier. For example:
- having a reliable, consistent and caring parent or other adult
around;
- being given information and explanation about their parent's
illness.
It is important for parents and teachers to be aware of the
possible stresses on the young person with an ill parent, and to
recognise that a child's difficult behaviour may be a cry for
help:
- the general practitioner or a social worker can help with
support and practical help for the family in caring for the child
or young person, and give advice and work with other professionals
if there are problems that are harming the child's health or
development;
- finding a local group, specifically for children and young
people who care for parents or siblings, for the child to
join.
When a child or young person has emotional or
behavioural problems that interfere with their life and that don't
seem to be improving, more specialist help may be needed. The
general practitioner will be able to advise about local services
and to refer a young person, if necessary, to the local child and
adolescent mental health service. This service usually includes
child and adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists,
psychotherapists, nurses and social workers.
A child may really value the chance to talk
about their parent's illness, and their fears, with a professional
who is familiar with these things.
Mental health professionals who are involved
in the care of an ill parent should ask about the needs of the
children in the household and whether any further help is required.
This should apply even if the parent is not being treated in
hospital.
References
Further reading
- Goepfert, M., Webster, J. & Seeman, M. (eds) (1996)
'Parental Psychiatric Disorder' - Distressed Parents and Their
Families. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Information
about the effects of mental illness on children, and what can be
done to help.
Sources of further information
- The Manic Depression
Fellowship supports people with a diagnosis of manic
depression and their families.
- Rethink offers
information and advice to people with severe mental illness and
their carers.
Or you may like to look at these websites:
- Young Carers
Net: Online support for young people who care for
others from the Princess royal trust for Carers
- Crossroads: young
carers: Information and support about being a
young carer including information about local groups
-
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The
Mental Health and Growing Up series contains 36
leaflets on a range of common mental health problems. To order the
pack, contact the Leaflets Department at the Royal College of
Psychiatrists, 17 Belgrave Square, London SW1X 8PG; tel: 020 7235
2351 ext. 259; fax: 020 7245 1231; email: leaflets@rcpsych.ac.uk, or you
can download them from this website.
© Updated: November 2009
Due for review: November 2011. Royal College of
Psychiatrists. This leaflet may be downloaded, printed out,
photocopied and distributed free of charge as long as the Royal
College of Psychiatrists is properly credited and no profit is
gained from its use. Permission to reproduce it in any other way
must be obtained from the Head
of Publications. The College does not allow reposting of its
leaflets on other sites, but allows them to be linked to
directly.
Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.
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