Fiona’ story (15 years) talks about her experience of psychosis

 

"I started to feel confused and frightened and couldn’t work out why. It felt hard to think because my thoughts wouldn’t line up and it was difficult to do my schoolwork. I felt separate to my friends. I thought they were talking about me and giving me dirty looks all the time. I thought my best friend Sally could read my thoughts and then that lots of people knew what I was thinking. This was really frightening and made me feel angry, upset and scared.

 

I could hear voices which started to talk about me, about what I looked like and what I was doing. They were horrible. Everything was worse when I was out, so I stayed at home more and more. In the end, I stayed in my room all the time and would only see my mum. The voices got worse. I was so scared I didn’t sleep. I didn’t tell anyone because the voices told me not to. I couldn’t trust anyone. It felt so bad I wanted to be dead.

 

My mum got so worried she made me see the GP. She got me to see a specialist who talked to me and my mum and told us I had psychosis. It took a long time for me to trust him, but the medicine and the talking treatment have helped. I have my own keyworker who is a nurse and who helps me a lot. She has helped my mum too. The voices have mostly gone now, and I can think more clearly. I’ve started to see my best friend again, but it’s going to take time to get my confidence back."

© 2008 Royal College of Psychiatrists