Introduction
Directed by Luis Mandoki in 1994, When a Man loves a
Woman stars Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan. It tells the story of an
airline pilot, Michael Green, and his wife, Alice, a school
counsellor, who seemingly have a wonderful life living with their
daughters in San Fransisco, until the truth about her alcohol
dependence reveals itself and threatens to destroy everything.
What is especially interesting about the film is that it is
based on the actual experiences of one of the two writers, Al
Franken, who is now a United States Senator from Minnesota. His
wife struggled with alcohol dependency whilst their two children
were young and he supported her through some very difficult
times. This was publically revealed in a
campaign Ad made by Franken in 2008, which featured his wife
talking about her addiction.
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The Film
The film opens with a playful scene between
Alice and her husband in a bar, clearly fuelled by the effects of
alcohol on Alice. Soon afterwards, an anniversary dinner leads to
some late night, disinhibited, public disorder as Alice eggs a car
whose alarm keeps going off outside their home. In these various
introductory sequences, we also see the role that Michael has
within their relationship as the strong, capable partner, who often
steps in and takes over, even in Alice’s role as mother to
daughters Jess and Casey.
The problems first surface when Alice goes out
for a drink after work with a friend who needs to talk, completely
forgetting that Michael has a flight and must leave that evening.
When confronted about this by him, her irritability soon dissolves
into despair about the loneliness of her situation when Michael is
away flying. Her secret drinking is soon uncovered and she
confesses to having vodka bottles hidden in various places around
the home. As Alice’s behaviour becomes more painfully disturbed and
openly drunken, the effect on the children takes centre stage. This
situation is brought to a dramatic head after she hits her eldest
daughter shortly before falling through the plate glass shower
cubicle in her bathroom, where she then lays unconscious on the
floor. Her daughter Jess frantically calls her Dad, who is away at
the time, to tell him that she thinks that Mummy is dead. He
finds himself organising emergency help from a distance in an
extremely poignant scene. This episode leads directly to Alice
being admitted, for ‘detox’, into an inpatient unit, where we
follow her progress and that of the family.
The second part of the film focuses on Alice
and the family after she has stopped drinking and is in recovery
back home, attending regular Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. We
watch the change in the balance of the marital relationship brought
about by Alice’s new found ‘true self’ which threatens to tear them
apart. The film illustrates the increasing emotional strain placed
on Michael as he struggles to make sense of those changes and to
understand his own part in their failing marriage whilst, at the
same time, seeking some stability in his life again. The scenes
between Michael and his daughters when he tells them that he is
finally relocating to Detroit are a painful reminder of the effect
that parental separation can have on children, and how the age of
the child commonly determines their response.
The ending is not completely negative, but
leaves open the possibility of something good ultimately developing
between two individuals who have learned a lot about themselves and
their relationship through an incredibly challenging experience.
Although there is a more positive tone to the ending, When a
Man loves a Woman succeeds in communicating the vulnerable
situation experienced by every recovering alcoholic as they set out
to live one day of their life at a time.
Relevance to the field of Mental Health
When a Man loves a Woman provides us with a platform to
explore not only the general topic of alcohol addiction, but in
particular the specific issues relating to women and alcohol. It
reminds us that it is impossible to tell who may be drinking
excessive amounts of alcohol in our communities and that we must
always ask about alcohol consumption when taking a medical or
psychiatric history. The BMJ has recently reviewed the NICE
guidelines on Diagnosis, assessment and management of harmful
drinking and alcohol dependence; Stephen Pilling et al (BMJ 2011;
342:d700) and alongside this, in the same issue
of the journal, there is an account by a 78 year old man of his
experience with alcoholism, written with his GP, Dr Adrian Raby,
entitled A Patient’s Journey: Alcoholism
(BMJ
2011; 342:d956) that highlights, in particular, the effect
that his excessive drinking had on his wife.
For similar reasons, I believe that this film
is especially valuable in its portrayal of the effect that Alice’s
alcohol addiction has on her marriage and on her children. The
anguish, confusion and hurt that we observe in her older daughter,
as she becomes aware of her mother’s problem, are at times almost
too painful to watch. These scenes place us directly into the
battleground so often described by families struggling to cope with
a relative’s alcohol dependence. The effects on Alice’s marriage to
Michael are also fully explored and a glimpse of their marital
therapy help to remind us of the complex work that usually needs to
be done by a couple struggling to make sense of the causes and to
repair the damage that so often accompanies alcohol addiction.
When a Man loves a Woman follows all members of Alice’s
nuclear family closely, giving us a powerful reminder of the
consequences that one person’s mental ill health can have on their
loved ones, especially any dependent children.
As the film focuses on Alice’s journey through
detoxification and on to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, it
highlights the important role of advice and support that
individuals need to deal with their addiction. This might help to
illuminate and support the argument being made in a recent
report by Alcohol Concern that more alcohol health workers in
hospitals and GP surgeries, offering counselling and advice, would
ultimately save the NHS money. As alcohol misuse has created a
steady rise in costs for the NHS through an increase in alcohol
related illnesses, there is an urgent need to recognise it as a
major health priority.
Recent media attention has highlighted the
particular risks facing middle class, professional woman who seem
to be consuming more alcohol on a regular basis than other females
(The
Telegraph, March 2011). The Institute of Alcohol Studies has
produced a number of very informative factsheets
about alcohol consumption in the UK and in particular one on women
and alcohol, which may be interesting to read in conjunction with a
viewing of this film. The NHS web
pages on Alcohol and Drinking have a number of useful links
(including to a downloadable Alcohol tracking app for iPhone or
desktop) and a
Carer’s story, written by a husband about his alcoholic wife,
which provides an account which describes some similar issues to
those portrayed in When a Man loves a Woman.
I would highly recommend this film for anyone
seeking to work in the field of alcohol or addictions as well as
for those involved in family therapy. But for a wider mental health
audience, When a Man loves a Woman reminds us that alcohol
dependency is no longer the preserve of any one particular group in
our society alone.
More information about When a Man loves a
Woman is available at IMDB, as is a short
trailer.
The DVD can be purchased at
amazon.co.uk.
Minds on Film is written by Dr Joyce Almeida.
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