Depression and Men: key facts
- Print
me: downloadable PDF version of this leaflet
What is depression?
Everyone has times in their lives when they
feel down or depressed. But if the depression goes on for a long
time, or becomes very severe, you may find yourself stuck and
unable to lift yourself out of it. This is what doctors call a
‘depressive illness’.
More information on depression in general, and its signs and
symptoms, can be found in our other leaflets on depression.
Is depression different for men?
There is no evidence for a completely separate
type of ‘male depression’. But men tend to be more competitive and
concerned with power and success than women. They don’t like to
admit that they feel fragile or that they need help, but feel that
they should rely on themselves. So they are less likely to talk
about their feelings with their friends, loved ones or their
doctors. This may be why they don’t get the help they need. There
is also evidence that some symptoms of depression are more common
in men than in women. These include irritability, sudden anger,
increased loss of control, greater risk-taking and aggression. Men
are also more likely to commit suicide.
How do men deal with depression?
Men are more likely than women to use drugs
and alcohol rather than asking for help. This usually makes things
worse, certainly in the long run. Your work will suffer and alcohol
often leads to irresponsible, unpleasant or dangerous behaviour.
Men may also focus more on their work than their relationships or
home life. This can cause conflicts with partners. All of these
things make depression more likely.
What factors are linked to depression in men?
Any stressful life situation can potentially
be associated with the onset of depression, both in men and women.
In men, the following situations and life events are particularly
relevant:
- Relationships: for married
men, research has shown that trouble in a marriage or long-term
relationship is the single most common problem associated with
depression. Men tend not to cope with disagreements as well as
women. Arguments can make men feel physically uncomfortable so
they try to avoid both disagreements and difficult discussions. The
partner will want to talk about a problem, but some men will try to
avoid it. The partner then feels ignored and tries to talk about it
more, which makes the man feel he is being nagged. So, he withdraws
further, which makes his partner feel even more ignored and so on.
This can destroy a relationship.
- Sex: when men are depressed,
they feel less good about their bodies and less sexy. Many go off
sex completely. Several recent studies suggest that, in spite of
this, men who are depressed have intercourse just as often, but
they don’t feel as satisfied as usual. A few depressed men actually
report an increase in sexual drive and intercourse, possibly as a
way of trying to make themselves feel better. Another problem may
be that some antidepressant drugs reduce sex-drive in a small
number of men. However, the good news is that, as the depression
improves, so will sexual desire, performance and satisfaction.
- Impotence: difficulty in
getting or keeping an erection can bring about depression. Again,
this is a problem for which it is usually possible to find
effective help.
- Unemployment and retirement:
leaving work, for any reason, can be stressful. Recent research has
shown that up to one in seven men who become unemployed will
develop a depressive illness in the next six months. Depression
itself can make it harder to get another job.
- Gay men and depression: on
the whole, gay men do not suffer from depression any more than
straight men. However, it seems that gay teenagers and young adults
are more likely to become depressed, possibly due to the stress of
‘coming out’.
- Suicide: men are around
three times more likely to kill themselves than women. Suicide is
commonest among men who are separated, widowed or divorced and is
more likely if someone is a heavy drinker. Over the last few years,
men have become more likely to kill themselves, particularly those
aged between 40-49 years. We don’t yet know the reason for
this.
Getting help
Helping yourself
- If you’ve had a major upset in your life, try
to tell someone how you feel about it.
- Keep active. Taking some exercise, even if it’s only a walk, will
help to keep you physically fit and you will sleep better.
- Ensure you eat a balanced diet, with lots of
fruit and vegetables.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs as they will make you
more depressed in the long run.
- Relaxation techniques for example yoga,
massage or aromatherapy.
- Do something you enjoy at least one thing
every week.
- Check out your lifestyle. A lot of people who
have depression are perfectionists and tend to drive themselves too
hard. You may need to set yourself more realistic targets and
reduce your workload. Take a break as it can be really helpful to
get away and out of your normal routine for a few days.
- Read about depression. Books and websites can
give you ideas on how to cope, and also help friends and relatives
to understand what you are going through.
Changing your perspective
It can help to see depression as a result of
chemical changes in the brain and/or as the inevitable cost of
living in a demanding and difficult world. It is nothing to do with
being weak or unmanly and it can be treated. Both talking and
medication can be important ways to help you get better.
Professional help
The best place to start is your GP who can go
over your options and discuss any worries you have about
confidentiality. Many men are concerned that information held by
their GPs may need to be given in medical reports, and so may
damage their chances in work. It's important to remember that, in
the UK, it is illegal for an employer to fire you – or not hire you
– solely because you have a diagnosis of a certain disorder. Their
only grounds for this are that your condition (whatever it is) will
actually interfere with your ability to do the job. Even if it does
interfere to some extent, under the Disability Discrimination Act,
an employer is expected to make reasonable adjustments to ensure
that someone with a recognised condition - including depression -
can be supported in their job rather than dismissed.
Depression may be due to physical illness, so
you need to get a proper physical check-up. If you are already
having treatment for a physical illness, your GP will need to know.
Your GP might recommend a course of psychotherapy. You could also
try the Samaritans.
© September 2011. This is an
abridged version of our main leaflet on 'Depression in Men'. Produced by the Royal
College of Psychiatrists' Public Education Editorial Board, chaired
by Dr Phil Timms. This factsheet was reviewed by Dr Michael
Yousif.
This leaflet is made available through the
generosity of the Charitable Monies Allocation Committee of the
mental health charity St Andrew's, Northampton
© September 2011. Royal
College of Psychiatrists. You can link to, download,
print, photocopy and distribute this leaflet free of charge. But
you must not change it or repost it on a website.
Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.
Please answer the following questions and press 'submit' to send your answers OR
E-mail your responses to dhart@rcpsych.ac.uk
On each line, click on the mark which most closely reflects how you feel about
the statement in the left hand column.
Your answers will help us to make this leaflet more useful - please try to rate
every item.
Did you look at this leaflet because you are a (maximum of 2 categories
please):
Age group (please tick correct box)