Mental Health and Growing Up
Factsheet
Domestic violence - its effects on children: information for
parents, carers young people, and anyone who works with them
About this factsheet
This is one in a series of factsheets for
parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and
Growing Up. The aim is to provide practical, up-to-date
information about mental health problems (emotional, behavioural
and psychiatric disorders) that can affect children and young
people. This factsheet looks at the effects that domestic violence
can have on children, and offers advice about how to help them.
What is domestic violence?
The term ‘domestic violence’ or domestic abuse
is used to describe any incident of threatening behaviour, violence
or abuse between adults, who is/has been a family member or living
at family home. These may be psychological, physical (including
throwing objects), sexual, emotional (includes verbal threats,
controlling behaviour) or financial.
Nowadays, abuse can also happen on mobile
phones, on the internet and social networking sites.
Who are the abusers and victims?
Although a man abusing a woman is recognised
more often, the adults may be of either gender or any sexuality. It
can happen in any class, religion, race, occupation or age.
It is common thinking that alcohol and mental
illness can cause person to be violent. Alcohol does not cause
domestic violence, but there is evidence that where domestic
violence exists, alcohol is often present. Most people who are
mentally ill are not violent.
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence.
Children, even pets can be affected. People with mental illness are
more likely to be victims of violence.
How are children involved?
In relationships where there is domestic
violence, children witness about three-quarters of the abusive
incidents. About half the children in these families have
themselves been badly hit or beaten. Sexual and emotional abuse is
also more likely to happen in these families.
How are children affected?
Obviously, it is very upsetting for children
to see one of their parents (or partners) abusing or attacking the
other. They often show signs of great distress.
Younger children may become anxious. They can
complain of tummy-aches or start to wet their bed. They may find it
difficult to sleep, have temper tantrums and start to behave as if
they are much younger than they are.
Older children react differently. Boys seem to
express their distress much more outwardly. They may become
aggressive and disobedient. Sometimes, they start to use violence
like bullying to try and solve problems, and may copy the behaviour
they see within the family. Older boys may play truant and start to
use alcohol or drugs.
Girls are more likely to keep their distress
inside. They may become withdrawn from other people, and become
anxious or depressed. They may think badly of themselves and
complain of vague physical symptoms. They are more likely to have
an eating disorder, or to harm themselves by taking overdoses or
cutting themselves.
Children with these problems often do badly at
school. They may refuse to go to school. They may also get symptoms
of post-traumatic stress disorder for example, and have nightmares
and flashbacks, and be easily startled.
Are there any long-term effects?
Children who have witnessed violence are more
likely to be either abusers or victims themselves. Children tend to
copy the behaviour of their parents. Boys can learn from their
fathers to be violent to women. Girls can learn from their mothers
that violence is to be expected, and something you just have to put
up with.
Some children appear ‘resilient’, are able to
withstand and are less affected by the domestic violence. Children
don't always repeat the same pattern when they grow up. Many
children don't like what they see, and try very hard not to make
the same mistakes as their parents. Even so, children from violent
families often grow up feeling anxious and depressed, and find it
difficult to get on with other people.
What can help?
Open communication about the problem is
helpful rather than trying to hide the problem. Children are able
to cope better and recover when they get the right help and
support, for example from other family members, peers, school. Some
children would find it helpful to speak to a professional (like
trained counsellors).
It is not uncommon for victims of domestic
violence to take a long time to recognise what is happening. Even
when they do, it can feel extremely difficult to take any action
about it. Speaking to someone whom you can trust or professional
can help you in this process.
Professionals including doctors, nurses,
teachers and social workers should be able to talk to you and your
child and offer the help and advice needed. In some areas local
domestic violence support may be available.
Remember it is important to keep yourself and children safe.
Asking help early and when in crisis is important. Domestic
violence is a crime, when required you should call the police.
In long term, practical help may be needed from professionals
like social workers or solicitors. They will be able to help with
finding a place to live, dealing with money problems, and making
contact and school arrangements for the children.
Further information
Childline
Free, confidential helpline dedicated to
children and young people: tel: 0800 1111.
NSPCC
The NSPCC Helpline provides advice and support
to adults who are concerned about the safety or welfare of a child.
the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.
Respect
UK membership association for domestic
violence perpetrator programmes and associated support services.
Helpline for perpetrators: Call 0808 802 4040 (free from landlines
and most mobiles).
The Hideout
Women's Aid have created this space to help
children and young people to understand domestic abuse, and how to
take positive.
The Samaritans
Provide a 24-hour service offering
confidential emotional support to anyone who is in crisis. Helpline
08457 909090 (UK), 1850 609090 (ROI); e-mail: jo@samaritans.org
Victim Support
Gives free and confidential help to victims of
crime, witnesses, their family, friends and anyone else affected
across England and Wales. Support line: 0845 30 30 900.
Women’s Aid
National charity working to end domestic violence
against women and children.
References
Grasping the nettle: alcohol and domestic violence, Revised
edition, 2010, Sarah Galvani, University of Bedfordshire,
Factsheet, Alcohol Concern.
A Review of Literature on
Effective Interventions that Prevent and Respond to Harm Against
Adults, Scottish executive, 2007.
Improving safety, reducing harm: children, young people and
domestic violence; A practical toolkit for frontline
practitioners.Department of Health, 2009.
Asian
Women Domestic Violence and Mental Health Toolkit,
2009.
Rutter, M. & Taylor, E. (eds) (2008)
'Rutter’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry' (5th edn).
London: Blackwell Publishing.
- Revised by the Royal College of
Psychiatrists’ Child and Family Public Education Editorial
Board.
- Series Editor: Dr Vasu Balaguru
This leaflet reflects the best possible
evidence at the time of writing.
© March 2012. Due for review March 2014.
Royal College of Psychiatrists. This leaflet may be downloaded,
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Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.
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