Mental Health and Growing Up Factsheet

Domestic violence - its effects on children: information for parents, carers young people, and anyone who works with them

About this factsheet

This is one in a series of factsheets for parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and Growing Up. The aim is to provide practical, up-to-date information about mental health problems (emotional, behavioural and psychiatric disorders) that can affect children and young people. This factsheet looks at the effects that domestic violence can have on children, and offers advice about how to help them.

What is domestic violence?

The term ‘domestic violence’ or domestic abuse is used to describe any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between adults, who is/has been a family member or living at family home. These may be psychological, physical (including throwing objects), sexual, emotional (includes verbal threats, controlling behaviour) or financial.

 

Nowadays, abuse can also happen on mobile phones, on the internet and social networking sites.

Who are the abusers and victims?

Although a man abusing a woman is recognised more often, the adults may be of either gender or any sexuality. It can happen in any class, religion, race, occupation or age.

 

It is common thinking that alcohol and mental illness can cause person to be violent. Alcohol does not cause domestic violence, but there is evidence that where domestic violence exists, alcohol is often present. Most people who are mentally ill are not violent.

 

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. Children, even pets can be affected. People with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence.

How are children involved?

In relationships where there is domestic violence, children witness about three-quarters of the abusive incidents. About half the children in these families have themselves been badly hit or beaten. Sexual and emotional abuse is also more likely to happen in these families.

How are children affected?

Obviously, it is very upsetting for children to see one of their parents (or partners) abusing or attacking the other. They often show signs of great distress.

 

Younger children may become anxious. They can complain of tummy-aches or start to wet their bed. They may find it difficult to sleep, have temper tantrums and start to behave as if they are much younger than they are.

 

Older children react differently. Boys seem to express their distress much more outwardly. They may become aggressive and disobedient. Sometimes, they start to use violence like bullying to try and solve problems, and may copy the behaviour they see within the family. Older boys may play truant and start to use alcohol or drugs.

 

Girls are more likely to keep their distress inside. They may become withdrawn from other people, and become anxious or depressed. They may think badly of themselves and complain of vague physical symptoms. They are more likely to have an eating disorder, or to harm themselves by taking overdoses or cutting themselves.

 

Children with these problems often do badly at school. They may refuse to go to school. They may also get symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder for example, and have nightmares and flashbacks, and be easily startled.

Are there any long-term effects?

Children who have witnessed violence are more likely to be either abusers or victims themselves. Children tend to copy the behaviour of their parents. Boys can learn from their fathers to be violent to women. Girls can learn from their mothers that violence is to be expected, and something you just have to put up with.

 

Some children appear ‘resilient’, are able to withstand and are less affected by the domestic violence. Children don't always repeat the same pattern when they grow up. Many children don't like what they see, and try very hard not to make the same mistakes as their parents. Even so, children from violent families often grow up feeling anxious and depressed, and find it difficult to get on with other people.

What can help?

Open communication about the problem is helpful rather than trying to hide the problem. Children are able to cope better and recover when they get the right help and support, for example from other family members, peers, school. Some children would find it helpful to speak to a professional (like trained counsellors).

 

It is not uncommon for victims of domestic violence to take a long time to recognise what is happening. Even when they do, it can feel extremely difficult to take any action about it. Speaking to someone whom you can trust or professional can help you in this process.

 

Professionals including doctors, nurses, teachers and social workers should be able to talk to you and your child and offer the help and advice needed. In some areas local domestic violence support may be available.

 

Remember it is important to keep yourself and children safe. Asking help early and when in crisis is important. Domestic violence is a crime, when required you should call the police.

 

In long term, practical help may be needed from professionals like social workers or solicitors. They will be able to help with finding a place to live, dealing with money problems, and making contact and school arrangements for the children.

Further information

Childline

Free, confidential helpline dedicated to children and young people: tel: 0800 1111.

 

NSPCC

The NSPCC Helpline provides advice and support to adults who are concerned about the safety or welfare of a child. the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.

 

Respect

UK membership association for domestic violence perpetrator programmes and associated support services. Helpline for perpetrators: Call 0808 802 4040 (free from landlines and most mobiles).

 

The Hideout

Women's Aid have created this space to help children and young people to understand domestic abuse, and how to take positive.

 

The Samaritans

Provide a 24-hour service offering confidential emotional support to anyone who is in crisis. Helpline 08457 909090 (UK), 1850 609090 (ROI); e-mail: jo@samaritans.org

 

Victim Support

Gives free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family, friends and anyone else affected across England and Wales. Support line: 0845 30 30 900.

 

Women’s Aid

National charity working to end domestic violence against women and children.

References

Grasping the nettle: alcohol and domestic violence, Revised edition, 2010, Sarah Galvani, University of Bedfordshire, Factsheet, Alcohol Concern. 

 

A Review of Literature on Effective Interventions that Prevent and Respond to Harm Against Adults, Scottish executive, 2007. 

 

Improving safety, reducing harm: children, young people and domestic violence; A practical toolkit for frontline practitioners.Department of Health, 2009.

 

Asian Women Domestic Violence and Mental Health Toolkit, 2009. 

 

Rutter, M. & Taylor, E. (eds) (2008) 'Rutter’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry' (5th edn). London: Blackwell Publishing.

 

  • Revised by the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Child and Family Public Education Editorial Board.
  • Series Editor: Dr Vasu Balaguru

 

This leaflet reflects the best possible evidence at the time of writing.

 

© March 2012.  Due for review March 2014. Royal College of Psychiatrists. This leaflet may be downloaded, printed out, photocopied and distributed free of charge as long as the Royal College of Psychiatrists is properly credited and no profit is gained from its use. Permission to reproduce it in any other way must be obtained from the Head of Publications. The College does not allow reposting of its leaflets on other sites, but allows them to be linked to directly.

 

For a catalogue of public education materials or copies of our leaflets contact: The Leaflet Department, The Royal College of Psychiatrists, 17 Belgrave Square, London SW1X 8PG. Email: leaflets@rcpsych.ac.uk or tel: 020 7235 2351 ext. 6159.

 

The Royal College of Psychiatrists is a charity registered in England and Wales (228636) and in Scotland (SC038369).

 

 

Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.

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