Mental Health and Growing Up
Factsheet
The emotional cost of bullying: information for
parents, carers and anyone who works with young
people
About this factsheet
This is one in a series of factsheets for
parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and
Growing Up. These factsheets aim to provide practical,
up-to-date information about mental health problems (emotional,
behavioural and psychiatric disorders) that can affect children and
young people. This factsheet looks in detail at what bullying is
and how it can affect young people. It also gives advice for
parents and teachers about how they can help a young person who is
being bullied.
What is bullying?
Bullying happens when a child is picked on by
another child or group of children. It is hurtful and deliberate.
Victims find it difficult to defend themselves. Bullying usually
happens again and again, and can go on for a long time unless
something is done about it.
It can happen in many different ways which
include physical, verbal or emotional.
Children who bully may:
- ht or punch another
child
- kick them or trip them
up
- take or spoil their
things
- call them names
- tease them
- give them nasty looks
- threaten them
- make racist remarks about
them
- spread nasty rumours or
stories about them
- not let them join in play or
games
- not talk to them – “send him
to Coventry”
- send repeated false or obscene
messages on the phone or internet/social networking sites.
How common is bullying?
Bullying is very common and can happen in all
schools. Surveys in this country have shown that half of primary
school pupils and one in 10 secondary school pupils in England are
being bullied.
Why does it happen?
There is no single reason why some children
become bullies or victims. Children who are aggressive are more
likely to become bullies. They pick on children who appear
different in some way - those who are quiet, shy, alone at
playtime, and unable to defend themselves. Children who have an
illness or disability or who are obese are also more likely to be
bullied.
What effects does bullying have?
Being bullied can seriously affect a child's
physical and mental health. This can include:
- feeling sad and lonely
- lacking confidence and
feeling bad about themselves
- becoming depressed
- complaining of various
physical symptoms e.g. headaches, stomach aches
- worrying and trying to avoid
going to school
These problems can carry on long after the
bullying has stopped.
Who and what can help?
Parents
- Be open to the
possibility that your child might be being bullied. Some
parents may not think of bullying as a possible reason for their
child's distress.
- Listen One
of the most important things you can do is to listen to your child
if they say they are being bullied. It can be very difficult for
them to talk to anyone about it.
-
Take your child seriously Many
children suffer in silence for a long time before they tell anyone.
They may be ashamed, embarrassed, and may believe that they deserve
it. Many children are frightened of telling because they fear the
bullies will find out and hurt them even more. It can take great
courage to tell an adult.
- Do not blame the
child Being bullied is not their fault (although they may
think it is).
- Reassure
them that they were right to tell you.
- Do not promise to
keep the bullying a secret Something must be done about
it. Reassure your child that you, and the teachers, will make sure
that things do not get worse because they have told you. Tell the
school so they can stop it. Teachers don't always know that a child
is being bullied. Find out if there is an anti-bullying programme
in the school.
- Talk with your child
and work out ways of solving the problem Include your
child in decisions about how to tackle the problem. For example,
work out some practical ways for them to stop the bullying. You
might discuss what they should say back if they are called names,
or where it's safe to go at playtime.
School
Bullying can happens in any school, so it is
important that each school has an effective anti-bullying
programme. They should make it clear that they won't allow bullying
or aggressive behaviour. Schools that have these policies, and who
take every incident of bullying seriously, tend to have less
bullying.
Every school can obtain an anti-bullying pack
from the Department for Education. There are a number of agencies
that can offer advice and help in how to set up effective
programmes (see below for sources of further information).
Other professionals who can help
Children whose health has been affected may
benefit from some specialist help from their general practitioner,
school nurse, a social worker or an educational psychologist who
will be able to offer help and advice. Children with emotional
problems quite often need these to be treated directly, even if the
school has managed to stop the bullying. Your general practitioner
can refer your child to a child and adolescent mental health
service (CAMHS).
Further information
Beatbullying
A bullying prevention charity with an emphasis
on working directly with children and young people.
Bullying UK
Part of Family Lives, a national charity
providing help and support in all aspects of family life. Free and
confidential advice telephone service: 0808 800 2222.
ChildLine
Provides a free and confidential telephone
service for children: Helpline 0800 1111.
Department for Education
Produces information on bullying.
(2011)
Preventing and Tackling Bullying: advice for school leaders, staff
& governing bodies. Crown Copyright 2011.
Kidscape
Provides advice, run training courses and
produce helpful booklets and information about bullying.
The Anti-Bullying
Alliance (ABA)
Brings together over 100 organisations into
one network to develop and share good practice across the whole
range of bullying issues.
References
Bond L, Carlin JB, Thomas L,
Rubin K, Patton G. (2001) Does bullying cause emotional problems? A
prospective study of young teenagers. BMJ;
323:480–4.
Gini G & Pozzoli T.
(2009) Association between bullying and psychosomatic problems: a
meta-analysis. Pediatrics; 123;
1059-1065.
Vreeman RC & Carroll AE.
(2007) A systematic review of school-based interventions to prevent
bullying. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent
Medicine; 161:78-88.
National Institute for Health and
Clinical Excellence. (2008) Promoting children’s social and
emotional wellbeing in primary education (public health guidance
12.
National Institute for Health and
Clinical Excellence. (2009) Promoting young people’s social and
emotional wellbeing in secondary education (public health guidance
20.
- Revised by the Royal College of
Psychiatrists’ Child and Family Public Education Editorial
Board.
- Series Editor: Dr Vasu Balaguru
- With grateful thanks to Dr Sarah Bates.
This leaflet reflects the best possible
evidence at the time of writing.
© March 2012. Due for review March 2014. Royal College of
Psychiatrists. This leaflet may be downloaded, printed out,
photocopied and distributed free of charge as long as the Royal
College of Psychiatrists is properly credited and no profit is
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must be obtained from the Head
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or copies of our leaflets contact: The Leaflet Department, The
Royal College of Psychiatrists, 17 Belgrave Square, London SW1X
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020 7235 2351 ext. 6159.
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(SC038369).
Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.
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