There are terrible moments
we cannot guess at
that wait  like traps and snares.
Beneath our feet
the ground gives way
and we go tumbling down;
a door closes, a latch clicks;
then we are left alone
with our death’s head.
We attend with horror,
the open mouth that freezes
on the slow cusp of speech.

These are terrible moments
and we cannot guess
the hour  that they will find us;
the sun shines, a bird
takes flight, and the light
of our world is blotted out.
We are crushed beneath
as the sky falls down,
and our mouths fill
with rubble and plaster.
Chalk dust speaks one last
great O as the singing heart
falters and winds down.

There are terrible moments:
day by day, they whisper
to us in our anguish
a screw tightens
the knife twists
a dull blade
rumbles and falls;
yet fear itself
may be the great abyss
we fear will rise up
to consume us;
and it may well be
that the demons
we see are just the poor
fleeting shadows
of our lives.

You’ve come, tell me why,

For no time resides here,

All in all everything is here,

In all its grief and space to fill,

No time resides here, beware!

Is this what eternity is like, I wonder,

Eternal life, in all its grief and space to fill?

But that would be hell not heaven!

How have you coped with all the deaths,

How have you been able to visit me,

No time after time, why now

With no news of my aunts and uncles,

Cousins and friends who have left me today,

I tell you what you should know and make me tell you.

How dare you come to visit this place, this me filled with

Grief upon grief, no time to reflect, all time removed,

So all have died today and all will die tomorrow and

The next day, if only there was such a time,

For eternal time resides here, just eternal life with all

Its grief and space to fill.

I am my mother’s child, I miss her as a child,

And she only died today, my father, aunts and uncles

Following this morning, this moment, this achingly filled

Moment, with grief to spare and space that only knows my tears.

I scream, I scream at you, at me, at this place I do not recognise,

I ache for a mother’s womb that bore no children, bears no children today,

Never bore and never bears today, I am a young mother who will never bear today.

Never bore, grieve for this moment which is for ever this moment.

I am a mother never to be, and a mother’s child never not to be,

My cousins and friends, aunts and uncles, father and husband,

All die today, every death today, and in this space loss found

Never to be lost again.

I scream, I cry, I can no longer speak with you

And I no longer feel or know that you recognise my humanity

For my loss and grief is screaming at you to go.

No Time Resides Here and You have come to Hell.

God Bless You, I struggle to say and only take your hand

No Time Resides here to ever let it go.