The Young Minds

Mental Health and Growing Up, Third Edition
Parental mental illness

Factsheet 16: Parental mental illness: the problems for children: for parents and teachers

 

 

About this leaflet

This is one in a series of leaflets for parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and Growing Up. The aims of these leaflets are to provide practical, up-to-date information about mental health problems (emotional, behavioural and psychiatric disorders) that can affect children and young people. This leaflet provides information on the problems encountered by children who have a parent with a mental illness, and gives some practical advice as to how to deal with these problems.

Introduction

What is mental illness?

It is estimated that mental illness will affect 1 in 4 of us at some time in our lives. When a person is mentally healthy they feel good about themselves; they can do everyday things easily, like going to school or work, and enjoying their hobbies and friends. Even when things go wrong they can usually sort it out themselves, although it may be hard for them. When someone becomes mentally ill, they may find everyday things very difficult to do and they may feel confused and upset a lot of the time. They may do things that seem normal to them, but to other people watching they may seem strange.

Children who have a parent with mental illness

Many children will grow up with a parent who, at some point, will have a mental illness. Most of these parents will have mild or short-lived illnesses, and will usually be treated by their general practitioner. A few children live with a parent who has a severe mental illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar affective disorder.
 
Many more children live with a parent who has a long-term problem, such as alcohol or drug problems, personality disorder or depression.

Difficulties for children

Children often cope well when a parent is ill for a short time. It is easier for them if they can understand why their parent has become unwell. It is important that things are explained to them, rather than being secretive about the problem. Children do find it difficult to cope when the problem is more long term. For many children in this situation, problems can arise if they:
  • are separated again and again from a parent who needs to go into hospital for treatment
  • feel unsure of their relationship with the parent with a mental illness
  • are not being looked after properly
  • are being hit or mistreated (this is more likely if the parent suffers from alcohol or drug problems or has personality difficulties)
  • are having to look after a sick parent, or are taking care of brothers and sisters
  • are being teased or bullied by others
  • hear unkind things being said about their sick parent.

 

Many children will experience feelings of upset, are frightened, worried by or ashamed of their parent's illness or behaviour.

Problems that children may develop

Some children withdraw into themselves, become anxious and find it difficult to concentrate on their school work. They may find it very difficult to talk about their parent's illness or their problems at home, which may stop them from getting help. Children are often ashamed of their parent's illness and worry about becoming ill themselves.
 
Some children are more at risk of developing emotional problems themselves, particularly if they have:
 
  • been abused or neglected
  • seen a lot of arguments/violence between their parents
  • a parent who misuses alcohol or drugs
  • lived in poverty, poor housing or has had an unstable life.

Where can I get help?

There are some steps that can be taken to try and help avoid these problems and to make the child's life easier. For example:
 
  • having a reliable, consistent and caring parent or other adult around
  • being given information and explanation about their parent's illness
  • it is important for parents and teachers to be aware of the possible stresses on the child with a sick parent, and to recognise that a child's difficult behaviour may be a cry for help
  • the general practitioner orsocial worker can help with support and practical help for the family in caring for the child, and give advice about social care  if there are problems that are harming the child's health or development

 

When a child or young person has behavioural problems that interfere with their life and that don't seem to be improving, more specialist help may be needed. The general practitioner will be able to advise about local services and to refer a young person, if necessary, to the local child and adolescent mental health service. This service usually includes child and adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, nurses and social workers.
 
A child may really value the chance to talk about their parent's illness, and their fears, with a professional who is familiar with these things. They may also need help in overcoming their own emotional and behavioural problems.
 
Mental health professionals who are involved in the care of an ill parent should ask about the needs of the children in the household and whether any further help is required.

References

  • Carr, A. (ed.) (2000) 'What Works with Children and Adolescents?' - A Critical Review of Psychological Interventions with Children, Adolescents and their Families. London: Brunner-Routledge.
  • Rutter, M. & Taylor, E. (eds) (2002) 'Child and Adolescent Psychiatry' (4th edn). London: Blackwell.
  • Scott, A., Shaw, M. & Joughin, C. (eds) (2001) 'Finding the Evidence' - A Gateway to the Literature in Child and Adolescent Mental Health (2nd edn). London: Gaskell.

Sources of further information

  • Goepfert, M., Webster, J. & Seeman, M. (eds) (1996) 'Parental Psychiatric Disorder' - Distressed Parents and Their Families. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Information about the effects of mental illness on children, and what can be done to help.

 

  • The Manic Depression Fellowship supports people with a diagnosis of manic depression and their families. Castle Works, 21 St George's Street, London SE1 6ES; tel. 08456 340 540 ; e-mail: mdf@mdf.org.uk; www.mdf.org.uk.

 

  • Rethink offers help to people with severe mental illness (not only schizophrenia) and their carers. 22-25 Finsbury Square, London EC2A 1DX; Tel: 0845 456 0455 ; Email: info@ethink.org; Website: www.rethink.org.

 

 

Or you may like to look at these websites:

 

 


 

Donation button© [August 2008] Royal College of Psychiatrists. This leaflet may be downloaded, printed out, photocopied and distributed free of charge as long as the Royal College of Psychiatrists is properly credited and no profit is gained from its use. Permission to reproduce it in any other way must be obtained from the Head of Publications. The College does not allow reposting of its leaflets on other sites, but allows them to be linked to directly.

 

 


Please note that we are unable to offer advice on individual cases. Please see our FAQ for advice on getting help.

feedback form feedback form

Please answer the following questions and press 'submit' to send your answers OR E-mail your responses to dhart@rcpsych.ac.uk

On each line, click on the mark which most closely reflects how you feel about the statement in the left hand column.

Your answers will help us to make this leaflet more useful - please try to rate every item.

This leaflet is:

Strongly agree

Agree

Neutral

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

  Strongly Agree Strongly Agree Agree Neutral Disagree Strongly Disagree Strongly Disagree
Readable
           
Useful
           
Respectful, does not talk down
           
Well designed
           

Did you look at this leaflet because you are a (maximum of 2 categories please):

Age group (please tick correct box)

 

© 2009 Royal College of Psychiatrists