The exquisite corpse

RCPsych ArtSIG has invited its members to contribute to the College’s first evolving exhibition on the theme 'I AM HERE'. 

The written corpse below has been created by and for the membership and will evolve over time. Composed of single sentences, it will be updated weekly

Find out more details about the project and how you can enter.

The corpse

And I found myself back in the house I grew up in.

Despite connecting often through screens, and phone lines and old fashioned post, I miss the touch of my Grandma's warm, curved hands, her over-heated home, and her persistent offers of food and drink; that space is one I long to return to, and wonder if I will before it is changed irrevocably.

I am here and I’m not sure I want or need to be anywhere else.

Nothing had changed - only our eyes saw for the first time.

Am I here behind my eyes or here behind my nose?

Yearning for that simple thread, I find myself swimming through a pool of yarn.

Do you stare sitting in emptiness?

Waiting for the call ... retired but available. Am I still able? Will I cope, will I manage?

I'm left standing inside a memory. One that I struggle to remember.

I never left. I just hid behind the expectations, norms and labels society forced upon me.

Serenity & peace, calm & comfort, hope & encouragement, love & compassion, freedom to flourish ...

The way forward is the way back, nada nada nada ...

With every footstep, the earth quakes. I am here. And I will be there too.

Here I am, looking out the window.

Am I ready?

I have never really felt that I am here.

The truth is I am definitely not here. Not anywhere that you might tell me is anything like "here."

I am here, the lukewarm winter sun kissing my skin and the laptop. To walk!

To walk!

Or am I still there? Hoping that this unshaken body, as the sun sets, suddenly awakes?

The thought of re-entering that virtual classroom came with a terror from the well of my intestines.

Here I am, a straight circle to nowhere I rather be.

Sometimes I have to remind myself; it’s always sunny above the clouds.

It’s up and down but I’m not sure which way I’m facing.

I am filled with gratitude for what I have and I am full of longing for what I have lost - touch.

 

 

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