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  • Become a psychiatrist

    Become a psychiatrist

    • Choose Psychiatry

      Choose Psychiatry

      • What is psychiatry?
      • How to become a psychiatrist
      • Why choose psychiatry?
      • What next?
      • On a break from training?
      • Choose Psychiatry 2021 video
      • Continuing to choose psychiatry
      • Hear more from the stars of our 2022 film
      • Choose Psychiatry – Guidance for Medical Schools
    • Sixth formers and school students
    • Medical students

      Medical students

      • Becoming a student associate
      • Psychiatry attachments
      • Awards, prizes and bursaries
      • PsychSocs
      • National Student Psychiatry Conference
      • Summer and autumn schools
      • FuturePsych – the student associate magazine
      • The Student Psychiatry Audit and Research Collaborative (SPARC)
    • Foundation doctors

      Foundation doctors

      • Foundation doctor associates
      • Making the most of your psychiatry placement
      • Opportunities for foundation doctors
      • FuturePsych - the associate magazine
    • Help us promote psychiatry

      Help us promote psychiatry

      • How can I help?
      • Ideas to inspire you
      • Resources to help you promote psychiatry
      • RCPsych Recruitment Strategy 2022-2027
    • Supporting Medical Students: Medical Schools
    • Careers past events
    • Choose Psychiatry
      • What is psychiatry?
      • How to become a psychiatrist
      • Why choose psychiatry?
      • What next?
      • On a break from training?
      • Choose Psychiatry 2021 video
      • Continuing to choose psychiatry
      • Hear more from the stars of our 2022 film
      • Choose Psychiatry – Guidance for Medical Schools
    • Sixth formers and school students
    • Medical students
      • Becoming a student associate
      • Psychiatry attachments
      • Awards, prizes and bursaries
      • PsychSocs
      • National Student Psychiatry Conference
      • Summer and autumn schools
      • FuturePsych – the student associate magazine
      • The Student Psychiatry Audit and Research Collaborative (SPARC)
    • Foundation doctors
      • Foundation doctor associates
      • Making the most of your psychiatry placement
      • Opportunities for foundation doctors
      • FuturePsych - the associate magazine
    • Help us promote psychiatry
      • How can I help?
      • Ideas to inspire you
      • Resources to help you promote psychiatry
      • RCPsych Recruitment Strategy 2022-2027
    • Supporting Medical Students: Medical Schools
    • Careers past events
  • Training

    Training

    • Curricula and guidance

      Curricula and guidance

      • 2022 Curricula Implementation Hub
      • 2014 GMC approved curricula (ending July 2024)
      • Specialty guides
      • Dual Training
      • Assessment Strategy Review
    • Your training

      Your training

      • Psychiatric Trainees' Committee: supporting you
      • Time out of training
      • Training resources
      • Run-through training
      • Prizes and bursaries for trainees
      • Training less than full time
      • Routes to Registration
      • Cost of Training
      • Leadership and Management Fellow Scheme
      • Understanding Career Choices in Psychiatry
      • Industrial action FAQs
      • Distribution of medical training posts
    • Exams

      Exams

      • Can I take an exam?
      • Contact the exams team
      • Preparing for exams
      • Applying for your exam
      • Exam results
      • Special notices
      • Exam FAQs
      • A fair exam
      • Examiners and exam panels recruitment
      • FAQs about applying for exams
      • FAQs about preparing for exams
      • FAQs about the day of the exam
      • FAQs about assessment and results
      • Exams news and updates
    • Neuroscience in training

      Neuroscience in training

      • About the project
      • Neuroscience events
      • Who was on the commission?
      • Neuroscience history
      • Neuroscience resources
      • Multimedia learning
    • Deanery/LETB Hub
    • Medical training initiative (MTI)
    • Undergraduate education forum
    • International Medical Graduates

      International Medical Graduates

      • Shortage Occupation List
    • Quality Assurance in Training
    • Credentialing
    • CPD eLearning
    • Building Capacity in Perinatal Psychiatry

      Building Capacity in Perinatal Psychiatry

      • Perinatal 2023 Masterclass Programme application and process details
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for New consultants resources
      • About the Building Capacity Project
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for Senior Trainees resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Top - up masterclass for consultants resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for Senior Trainees Jan 2023 resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for SAS Doctor resources
    • Dean's 2022 update
    • Curricula and guidance
      • 2022 Curricula Implementation Hub
      • 2014 GMC approved curricula (ending July 2024)
      • Specialty guides
      • Dual Training
      • Assessment Strategy Review
    • Your training
      • Psychiatric Trainees' Committee: supporting you
      • Time out of training
      • Training resources
      • Run-through training
      • Prizes and bursaries for trainees
      • Training less than full time
      • Routes to Registration
      • Cost of Training
      • Leadership and Management Fellow Scheme
      • Understanding Career Choices in Psychiatry
      • Industrial action FAQs
      • Distribution of medical training posts
    • Exams
      • Can I take an exam?
      • Contact the exams team
      • Preparing for exams
      • Applying for your exam
      • Exam results
      • Special notices
      • Exam FAQs
      • A fair exam
      • Examiners and exam panels recruitment
      • FAQs about applying for exams
      • FAQs about preparing for exams
      • FAQs about the day of the exam
      • FAQs about assessment and results
      • Exams news and updates
    • Neuroscience in training
      • About the project
      • Neuroscience events
      • Who was on the commission?
      • Neuroscience history
      • Neuroscience resources
      • Multimedia learning
    • Deanery/LETB Hub
    • Medical training initiative (MTI)
    • Undergraduate education forum
    • International Medical Graduates
      • Shortage Occupation List
    • Quality Assurance in Training
    • Credentialing
    • CPD eLearning
    • Building Capacity in Perinatal Psychiatry
      • Perinatal 2023 Masterclass Programme application and process details
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for New consultants resources
      • About the Building Capacity Project
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for Senior Trainees resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Top - up masterclass for consultants resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for Senior Trainees Jan 2023 resources
      • Perinatal Psychiatry Masterclass for SAS Doctor resources
    • Dean's 2022 update
  • Members

    Members

    • Workforce Wellbeing Hub

      Workforce Wellbeing Hub

      • Psychiatrists' Support Service
      • How the College supports workforce wellbeing
      • Top 10 tips for wellbeing
      • Mentoring and coaching
      • If a patient dies by suicide
      • If a patient commits homicide
    • Supporting your professional development

      Supporting your professional development

      • New consultants (StartWell)
      • Revalidation
      • Assessing and managing risk of patients causing harm
      • Leadership and management
      • Working less than full time
      • Writing clinic letters
    • CPD eLearning
    • Submitting your CPD

      Submitting your CPD

      • Alterations to CPD during coronavirus pandemic
    • Membership

      Membership

      • Members login
      • Receipts
      • Pay Your Subscription
      • Direct Debit
      • Your subscription
      • Grades of membership
      • Benefits of membership
      • Fellowship and other Honours
      • Applying for Fellowship
      • Nominations for Honorary Fellows
      • Nominations for National Honours
    • Your Faculties

      Your Faculties

      • Academic psychiatry
      • Addictions psychiatry
      • Child and adolescent psychiatry
      • Eating disorders psychiatry
      • Forensic Psychiatry Faculty
      • General adult psychiatry
      • Intellectual disability psychiatry faculty
      • Liaison psychiatry faculty
      • Medical psychotherapy faculty
      • Neuropsychiatry faculty
      • Old age psychiatry faculty
      • Perinatal psychiatry faculty
      • Rehabilitation and social psychiatry faculty
      • Faculty job descriptions
    • Specialist and Associate Specialty Doctors

      Specialist and Associate Specialty Doctors

      • A message from the Chair
      • Who are SAS Doctors?
      • How to enter the SAS grade
      • SAS career development
      • SAS doctors resources
      • College SAS training and events
      • Startwell and Staywell
    • Devolved Nations

      Devolved Nations

      • RCPsych in Scotland
      • RCPsych in Wales
      • Coleg Cymraeg
      • RCPsych in Northern Ireland
      • Executive Committee job descriptions
    • English Divisions

      English Divisions

      • Eastern
      • London
      • Northern and Yorkshire
      • North West
      • South Eastern
      • Trent
      • West Midlands
      • South West
      • Executive Committee job descriptions
      • NW and NY mentorship
    • International members
    • Special Interest Groups

      Special Interest Groups

      • How to join a SIG
      • Adolescent forensic psychiatry
      • Arts psychiatry
      • Digital psychiatry
      • Evolutionary psychiatry
      • History of psychiatry
      • Neurodevelopmental psychiatry
      • Occupational psychiatry
      • Philosophy
      • Private and independent practice
      • Rainbow SIG
      • Spirituality and Psychiatry 
      • Sport and exercise psychiatry (SEPSIG)
      • Transcultural psychiatry
      • Volunteering and international (VIPSIG)
      • Women and mental health
    • Committees of Council
    • RCPsych Insight magazine
    • Publications and books
    • Members' eNewsletters
    • Posts for members
    • Public members list
    • Jobs board
    • President's lectures

      President's lectures

      • Declaration of competing interests (President's lectures)
      • List of president's lectures competing interests
      • Past President's lectures
    • Retired members
    • Obituaries

      Obituaries

      • Submit an obituary
      • Remembering Dame Fiona Caldicott
      • Memorial service for Professor Andrew Sims
    • 2021 membership survey
    • Mindmasters quiz

      Mindmasters quiz

      • About the quiz
      • Who won in 2022?
      • The rules of the quiz
      • Sample quiz questions 
    • eLearning Hub
    • Workforce Wellbeing Hub
      • Psychiatrists' Support Service
      • How the College supports workforce wellbeing
      • Top 10 tips for wellbeing
      • Mentoring and coaching
      • If a patient dies by suicide
      • If a patient commits homicide
    • Supporting your professional development
      • New consultants (StartWell)
      • Revalidation
      • Assessing and managing risk of patients causing harm
      • Leadership and management
      • Working less than full time
      • Writing clinic letters
    • CPD eLearning
    • Submitting your CPD
      • Alterations to CPD during coronavirus pandemic
    • Membership
      • Members login
      • Receipts
      • Pay Your Subscription
      • Direct Debit
      • Your subscription
      • Grades of membership
      • Benefits of membership
      • Fellowship and other Honours
      • Applying for Fellowship
      • Nominations for Honorary Fellows
      • Nominations for National Honours
    • Your Faculties
      • Academic psychiatry
      • Addictions psychiatry
      • Child and adolescent psychiatry
      • Eating disorders psychiatry
      • Forensic Psychiatry Faculty
      • General adult psychiatry
      • Intellectual disability psychiatry faculty
      • Liaison psychiatry faculty
      • Medical psychotherapy faculty
      • Neuropsychiatry faculty
      • Old age psychiatry faculty
      • Perinatal psychiatry faculty
      • Rehabilitation and social psychiatry faculty
      • Faculty job descriptions
    • Specialist and Associate Specialty Doctors
      • A message from the Chair
      • Who are SAS Doctors?
      • How to enter the SAS grade
      • SAS career development
      • SAS doctors resources
      • College SAS training and events
      • Startwell and Staywell
    • Devolved Nations
      • RCPsych in Scotland
      • RCPsych in Wales
      • Coleg Cymraeg
      • RCPsych in Northern Ireland
      • Executive Committee job descriptions
    • English Divisions
      • Eastern
      • London
      • Northern and Yorkshire
      • North West
      • South Eastern
      • Trent
      • West Midlands
      • South West
      • Executive Committee job descriptions
      • NW and NY mentorship
    • International members
    • Special Interest Groups
      • How to join a SIG
      • Adolescent forensic psychiatry
      • Arts psychiatry
      • Digital psychiatry
      • Evolutionary psychiatry
      • History of psychiatry
      • Neurodevelopmental psychiatry
      • Occupational psychiatry
      • Philosophy
      • Private and independent practice
      • Rainbow SIG
      • Spirituality and Psychiatry 
      • Sport and exercise psychiatry (SEPSIG)
      • Transcultural psychiatry
      • Volunteering and international (VIPSIG)
      • Women and mental health
    • Committees of Council
    • RCPsych Insight magazine
    • Publications and books
    • Members' eNewsletters
    • Posts for members
    • Public members list
    • Jobs board
    • President's lectures
      • Declaration of competing interests (President's lectures)
      • List of president's lectures competing interests
      • Past President's lectures
    • Retired members
    • Obituaries
      • Submit an obituary
      • Remembering Dame Fiona Caldicott
      • Memorial service for Professor Andrew Sims
    • 2021 membership survey
    • Mindmasters quiz
      • About the quiz
      • Who won in 2022?
      • The rules of the quiz
      • Sample quiz questions 
    • eLearning Hub
  • Events

    Events

    • Conferences and training events

      Conferences and training events

      • Register your interest - CESR in Psychiatry Training
      • MHA Section 12 and Approved Clinician Training
      • Register your interest - Present State Examination Course 2022
      • Subscribe to receive the Events eNews
      • Register your interest - ICD-11 events
      • RCPsych Certificated Courses
      • Grand Rounds
    • International Congress 2022

      International Congress 2022

      • Congress 2022 FAQs
      • Congress Webinar Package
      • Poster Presentations 2022
      • Exhibition Opportunities 2022
      • Your guide to Congress
      • IC22 Keynote speakers
      • Programme
      • Speaker information
      • Travel and accommodation guidance 
      • Social and Fringe Events
      • #RCPsychIC
      • Rapid Fire and Poster Prize Winners
    • International Congress 2023

      International Congress 2023

      • Register your interest - Congress 2023 exhibitors
      • Travel and accommodation guidance 
      • Registration
      • Congress 2023 FAQs
      • Poster Presentations 2023
      • Programme
      • Social Media
      • Your guide to Congress
      • Social and Fringe Events
    • In-house training

      In-house training

      • In house training: working with us
      • Health of Nation Outcome Scales
      • Competing interests
    • Events held by other organisations
    • Free webinars

      Free webinars

      • Free webinars for members
    • Recruitment events
    • Claiming Expenses
    • Terms and conditions
    • Speaker guidance for online events
    • Conferences and training events
      • Register your interest - CESR in Psychiatry Training
      • MHA Section 12 and Approved Clinician Training
      • Register your interest - Present State Examination Course 2022
      • Subscribe to receive the Events eNews
      • Register your interest - ICD-11 events
      • RCPsych Certificated Courses
      • Grand Rounds
    • International Congress 2022
      • Congress 2022 FAQs
      • Congress Webinar Package
      • Poster Presentations 2022
      • Exhibition Opportunities 2022
      • Your guide to Congress
      • IC22 Keynote speakers
      • Programme
      • Speaker information
      • Travel and accommodation guidance 
      • Social and Fringe Events
      • #RCPsychIC
      • Rapid Fire and Poster Prize Winners
    • International Congress 2023
      • Register your interest - Congress 2023 exhibitors
      • Travel and accommodation guidance 
      • Registration
      • Congress 2023 FAQs
      • Poster Presentations 2023
      • Programme
      • Social Media
      • Your guide to Congress
      • Social and Fringe Events
    • In-house training
      • In house training: working with us
      • Health of Nation Outcome Scales
      • Competing interests
    • Events held by other organisations
    • Free webinars
      • Free webinars for members
    • Recruitment events
    • Claiming Expenses
    • Terms and conditions
    • Speaker guidance for online events
  • Improving care

    Improving care

    • College Centre for Quality Improvement (CCQI)

      College Centre for Quality Improvement (CCQI)

      • What we do in the CCQI
      • Quality Networks and Accreditation
      • National Clinical Audits
      • Multi-source feedback
      • CCQI resources
      • CCQI Who we are
      • Research and evaluation
      • CCQI news
    • Campaigning for better mental health policy

      Campaigning for better mental health policy

      • Five Year Forward View
      • Integrated care and mental health
      • Children and young people's mental health Green Paper
      • Cross-government mental health and wellbeing plan 
      • RCPsych in Parliament
      • Join our Research Panel
      • College Reports
      • Position Statements
      • Process for College publications
      • Other policy areas
      • Mental Health Watch
      • COVID-19: Guidance for clinicians
      • Reforming The Mental Health Act
      • Don't overlook mental health campaign
      • The Mental Health Policy Group (MHPG)
    • Planning the psychiatric workforce

      Planning the psychiatric workforce

      • About workforce
      • Job planning and recruitment
      • Our workforce census
      • Campaigning for the mental health workforce of the future
      • Workforce strategy
      • Job description approval process
    • Public Mental Health Implementation Centre

      Public Mental Health Implementation Centre

      • Our partners and first partnership activity 
      • How to work with the Public Mental Health Implementation Centre
      • Who's involved in the Public Mental Health Implementation Centre?
      • Aims and objectives
      • Reports
      • About public mental health
      • PMHIC Parliamentary Launch 
    • National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health

      National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health

      • About NCCMH and our work
      • Clinical guideline development
      • Competence frameworks
      • Quality improvement programmes
      • Reports and research
      • Service design and development
      • Work with us
    • Physician Associates

      Physician Associates

      • About Physician Associates
      • Employing Physician Associates
      • Becoming a Physician Associate
      • Support for Physician Associates
      • Physician Associates network
      • The Competence Framework for Physician Associates in Mental Health
    • Invited Review Service
    • Public Health and its role in mental heath
    • Sustainability and mental health

      Sustainability and mental health

      • In your community
      • In your practice
      • In your trust
      • Nature matters
      • Sustainability scholars
      • Sustainability at RCPsych
      • Sustainability resources
      • College position on sustainability
      • Attending COP26
    • Using quality improvement
    • Net Zero Mental Health Care Research, Resources and Education

      Net Zero Mental Health Care Research, Resources and Education

      • Net Zero Mental Health Care Call for Evidence
    • College Centre for Quality Improvement (CCQI)
      • What we do in the CCQI
      • Quality Networks and Accreditation
      • National Clinical Audits
      • Multi-source feedback
      • CCQI resources
      • CCQI Who we are
      • Research and evaluation
      • CCQI news
    • Campaigning for better mental health policy
      • Five Year Forward View
      • Integrated care and mental health
      • Children and young people's mental health Green Paper
      • Cross-government mental health and wellbeing plan 
      • RCPsych in Parliament
      • Join our Research Panel
      • College Reports
      • Position Statements
      • Process for College publications
      • Other policy areas
      • Mental Health Watch
      • COVID-19: Guidance for clinicians
      • Reforming The Mental Health Act
      • Don't overlook mental health campaign
      • The Mental Health Policy Group (MHPG)
    • Planning the psychiatric workforce
      • About workforce
      • Job planning and recruitment
      • Our workforce census
      • Campaigning for the mental health workforce of the future
      • Workforce strategy
      • Job description approval process
    • Public Mental Health Implementation Centre
      • Our partners and first partnership activity 
      • How to work with the Public Mental Health Implementation Centre
      • Who's involved in the Public Mental Health Implementation Centre?
      • Aims and objectives
      • Reports
      • About public mental health
      • PMHIC Parliamentary Launch 
    • National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health
      • About NCCMH and our work
      • Clinical guideline development
      • Competence frameworks
      • Quality improvement programmes
      • Reports and research
      • Service design and development
      • Work with us
    • Physician Associates
      • About Physician Associates
      • Employing Physician Associates
      • Becoming a Physician Associate
      • Support for Physician Associates
      • Physician Associates network
      • The Competence Framework for Physician Associates in Mental Health
    • Invited Review Service
    • Public Health and its role in mental heath
    • Sustainability and mental health
      • In your community
      • In your practice
      • In your trust
      • Nature matters
      • Sustainability scholars
      • Sustainability at RCPsych
      • Sustainability resources
      • College position on sustainability
      • Attending COP26
    • Using quality improvement
    • Net Zero Mental Health Care Research, Resources and Education
      • Net Zero Mental Health Care Call for Evidence
  • Mental health

    Mental health

    • Problems and disorders

      Problems and disorders

      • ADHD in adults
      • Alcohol and depression
      • Alcohol and older people
      • Anorexia and bulimia
      • Anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
      • Anxiety, panic and phobias
      • Bereavement
      • Bipolar disorder
      • Cannabis
      • Catatonia
      • Club drugs
      • Coping after a traumatic event
      • Debt and mental health
      • Delirium
      • Depression
      • Depression in older adults
      • Feeling overwhelmed
      • Gambling disorder
      • Heroin dependence
      • Hoarding
      • Learning disabilities
      • Medically unexplained symptoms
      • Memory problems and dementia
      • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
      • Perinatal OCD
      • Perinatal OCD for carers
      • Personality disorder
      • Physical illness and mental health
      • Postnatal depression
      • Postnatal depression key facts
      • Postnatal depression: information for carers
      • Postpartum psychosis
      • Postpartum Psychosis in Carers
      • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) 
      • Schizoaffective disorder
      • Schizophrenia
      • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
      • Self-harm
      • Shyness and social phobia
      • Sleeping well
      • Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)
      • Cocaine dependence
    • Support, care and treatment

      Support, care and treatment

      • Alzheimers drug treatments
      • Antidepressants
      • Antipsychotics
      • Antipsychotics in pregnancy
      • Being sectioned
      • Benzodiazepines
      • Children's social services and safeguarding
      • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
      • Complementary and alternative medicines: herbal remedies
      • Complementary and alternative medicines: physical treatments
      • Depot medication
      • Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards
      • Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
      • Guide to mental health tribunals
      • Liaison psychiatry services
      • Lithium in pregnancy and breastfeeding
      • Mental capacity and the law
      • Mental health in pregnancy
      • Mental health rehabilitation services
      • Mental health services and teams in the community
      • Mother and baby units (MBUs)
      • Neuromodulation
      • Perinatal mental health services: what are they?
      • Planning a pregnancy
      • Psychotherapies and psychological treatments
      • Social prescribing
      • Spirituality and mental health
      • Stopping antidepressants
      • Valproate in women and girls who could get pregnant
      • What to expect of your psychiatrist in the UK
      • COVID-19: Medication for mental health
      • COVID-19: Remote consultations
      • COVID-19: Going to hospital for a physical illness or injury
      • COVID-19: Eating disorders
      • COVID-19: Perinatal care
      • Hypnosis and hypnotherapy
      • Benefits, financial support and debt advice
      • Caring for someone with a mental illness
    • Young people's mental health
    • Translations

      Translations

      • Arabic عربى
      • Bengali বাঙালি
      • Bulgarian български
      • Chinese 中文
      • French Français
      • German Deutsch
      • Greek Ελληνική γλώσσα
      • Gujurati ગુજરાતી
      • Hindi हिंदीहिंदी
      • Italian italiano
      • Japanese 日本語
      • Lithuanian Lietuvių kalba
      • Pashto پښتو
      • Persian (Farsi) فارسی
      • Polish Polski
      • Punjabi ਪੰਜਾਬੀ
      • Romanian Română
      • Russian Pусский
      • Somali
      • Spanish Español
      • Turkish
      • Tamil தமிழ்
      • Urdu اردو
      • Welsh Cymraeg
      • Sindhi سنڌي
      • Ukrainian украї́нська
      • Swahili Kiswahili
      • Kurdish Kurdî
    • Mental health and psychiatry FAQs
    • Order mental health leaflets
    • About our mental health information
    • Disclaimer about our mental health information
    • Choosing Wisely - a national campaign
    • BSL translations
    • MindEd – free mental health eLearning
    • Order mental health packs for schools

      Order mental health packs for schools

      • Order form for mental health factsheets for young people
    • Audio resources
    • Veterans' mental health
    • Suicide resources
    • Problems and disorders
      • ADHD in adults
      • Alcohol and depression
      • Alcohol and older people
      • Anorexia and bulimia
      • Anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
      • Anxiety, panic and phobias
      • Bereavement
      • Bipolar disorder
      • Cannabis
      • Catatonia
      • Club drugs
      • Coping after a traumatic event
      • Debt and mental health
      • Delirium
      • Depression
      • Depression in older adults
      • Feeling overwhelmed
      • Gambling disorder
      • Heroin dependence
      • Hoarding
      • Learning disabilities
      • Medically unexplained symptoms
      • Memory problems and dementia
      • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
      • Perinatal OCD
      • Perinatal OCD for carers
      • Personality disorder
      • Physical illness and mental health
      • Postnatal depression
      • Postnatal depression key facts
      • Postnatal depression: information for carers
      • Postpartum psychosis
      • Postpartum Psychosis in Carers
      • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) 
      • Schizoaffective disorder
      • Schizophrenia
      • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
      • Self-harm
      • Shyness and social phobia
      • Sleeping well
      • Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)
      • Cocaine dependence
    • Support, care and treatment
      • Alzheimers drug treatments
      • Antidepressants
      • Antipsychotics
      • Antipsychotics in pregnancy
      • Being sectioned
      • Benzodiazepines
      • Children's social services and safeguarding
      • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
      • Complementary and alternative medicines: herbal remedies
      • Complementary and alternative medicines: physical treatments
      • Depot medication
      • Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards
      • Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
      • Guide to mental health tribunals
      • Liaison psychiatry services
      • Lithium in pregnancy and breastfeeding
      • Mental capacity and the law
      • Mental health in pregnancy
      • Mental health rehabilitation services
      • Mental health services and teams in the community
      • Mother and baby units (MBUs)
      • Neuromodulation
      • Perinatal mental health services: what are they?
      • Planning a pregnancy
      • Psychotherapies and psychological treatments
      • Social prescribing
      • Spirituality and mental health
      • Stopping antidepressants
      • Valproate in women and girls who could get pregnant
      • What to expect of your psychiatrist in the UK
      • COVID-19: Medication for mental health
      • COVID-19: Remote consultations
      • COVID-19: Going to hospital for a physical illness or injury
      • COVID-19: Eating disorders
      • COVID-19: Perinatal care
      • Hypnosis and hypnotherapy
      • Benefits, financial support and debt advice
      • Caring for someone with a mental illness
    • Young people's mental health
    • Translations
      • Arabic عربى
      • Bengali বাঙালি
      • Bulgarian български
      • Chinese 中文
      • French Français
      • German Deutsch
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Guest post: Being Diagnosed with BPD

RCPsych in Scotland blog

24 May, 2021

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As part of Borderline Personality DIsorder (BPD) Awareness Month, we are giving our blog space to Alison, who has written as part of the #BPDAndMe campaign. The campaign was co-created with individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder, the Mental Health Improvement team at NHS GGC, the BPD Pathway Steering Group, and the Mental Health Network. Read the original piece.

Everyone’s experience of receiving this diagnosis will be different. For some it will come in what could still be termed formative years; for others it could come after decades of struggling and confusion. For some it might feel like the end of the world; for others it may be a relief. Others might really not know how they feel about it.

The crucial thing to hold on to is that there is no right or wrong response. You feel the way you feel and your feelings are as valid as anyone else’s. You’re allowed to be relieved, sad, scared, angry, confused. To feel any or all of those things. Or even what seems like nothing at all.

Maybe the diagnosis of a personality disorder left you feeling as though you in your most basic form, your most fundamental “you-ness” are flawed and somehow wrong. That there’s some irrevocable fault in your make-up. Something that can never be changed. Because surely if your personality is supposedly disordered, you’re broken at your very core. You might feel like it’s your fault you are the way you are. Like you deserve all the hurt and distress you experience. Because you’re the one whose personality is fractured, inherently wrong. And if you read some of the stuff online it might make you feel like you’re a lost cause, beyond fixing.

That’s not true.

I repeat: that’s not true. None of it.

All your complex feelings are valid. All of them. Even the ones that tell you it’s your fault. If you feel it, it’s valid. But that doesn’t mean it’s true. Please believe me that’s it’s not your fault. And hopefully in time you will gradually come to recognise that.

It’s taken me a while. I’m still working on it.

I don’t know how or when you received your diagnosis or how long it took. I do know you’ll have been through a hell of a lot before you did.

For me, getting the diagnosis confirmed was a long process. I had suffered from anorexia from the age of 16, which reached its lowest point in 1998 at the age of 21 when I saw a mental health professional for the first time and was put on antidepressants. After graduating from university the following year, I moved to Berlin in 2000, where I had a period of being mostly well (or what I thought was well) until another mental health crash happened. I spent 8 weeks as a day patient in a psychiatric clinic, followed by 13 weeks on an inpatient programme for eating disorders.

When the programme ended, the discharge letter listed among the other diagnoses something termed 'Emotionally Unstable Personality'. I didn’t understand what that meant; I don’t recall it ever being mentioned during therapy. To be honest, I didn’t even realise it was an official diagnosis. I thought it just meant I was a bit oversensitive and flaky. I never thought to look it up. That was in 2003 when I was 26.

The intervening years had been marked by extended periods of managing to work but with recurrent crashes back into depression that saw me off work for increasingly lengthy periods. Seeing a psychologist, being tried on various medications, always being told it was depression, with anxiety added to the mix at some point.

That recurrent cycle of increasingly severe crashes had haunted me ever since my time in Berlin. And every crash eroded my confidence more and more. I started feeling like it had to be more than 'just' depression and anxiety. It didn’t explain the rapid mood swings and bursts of explosive anger triggered by the slightest thing.

Why could I feel okay and then a few minutes or an hour later be in floods of tears? Why did I so often feel so uncontrollable, so suddenly and intensely distressed? Why did I feel so much without knowing why? Why did I have such meteoric mood swings that could cycle so rapidly in just one day? Why did I feel such boiling, visceral distress that I couldn’t do anything but take it out on myself in the form of self-harm?

I felt guilty I couldn’t “get over” depression and anxiety even with medication, and after so many years. I felt like I was a failure. I was desperate to understand because I couldn’t live like this any more. I even started to wonder if it was bipolar II, but that didn’t seem to fit either due to the lack of extended periods of mania. Just this daily, unpredictable and exhausting rollercoaster that raced through okay(ish) into sudden random peaks of unnatural highs and plunges into self-loathing, despair and crippling darkness. From laughter to sobs in a matter of hours, minutes, seconds.

In 2016, I rediscovered the discharge letter from the hospital in Berlin and I started wondering what this “Emotionally Unstable Personality” thing was about. When I started reading about BPD, it was like a cartoon lightbulb pinged into place. This made sense. This was me. The severe and rapid mood swings, the yawning sense of emptiness and loneliness. Clinging to certain people and idolising them. Feeling everything so intensely it hurt and the massive overreactions to the slightest trigger. The self-harm. The bursts of intense blazing anger I could only ever take out on myself. Jumping into different personas around people. Feeling totally shut down one minute but then flicking into almost manic talkativeness and laughter the next. Feeling sometimes that the world wasn’t real; that I was in a bubble that muted everything. Or that I wasn’t real. Not knowing who I was, not seeing anything clearly. The urges when driving to just slam into a tree or a wall. Spending too much and not caring. Desperately, desperately wanting to be liked and terrified of doing the wrong thing.

Feeling like life was nothing but a struggle and there would never be a place in it for me. That I was essentially a bad person, flawed beyond redemption, a failure of a human being – and it was my fault for not being “normal”. I had felt that way for so long.

Towards the end of 2016, I went into an appointment with my psychiatrist determined to ask the question. In all the time I had been under CMHT nothing had ever been said about it. So I just asked whether BPD was/had been one of my diagnoses. He hummed and hawed, talking about treating traits and not putting labels on people. But it became clear that I was indeed diagnosed with BPD; that he and my former psychologist had been waiting to refer me to treatment when I was ready. Or, more realistically perhaps, when the appropriate treatment was actually available.

It’s hard to remember exactly how I felt coming out of that appointment. Part of me was slightly dazed, I think. Being told you have a personality disorder will take anyone time to process. But mostly what I felt was relief. I was right, it was more than depression and anxiety. I had an answer. In that moment, in practical terms, that answer didn’t change anything. Yet, at the same time, it changed everything because now I had clarification. Now I had something to explain all the nebulous, confusing, distressing feelings and behaviours I’d had for so long. There was a reason for the crashes and the hurt and just nothing ever getting better. For feeling so difficult and so trapped. It had a name. And that name was Borderline Personality Disorder. I had Borderline Personality Disorder.

I was referred to a course of therapy specifically designed for BPD. It was tough, I can’t lie. I had to face up to a lot of hard truths from my past and go to places I had blocked for years. It’s been emotional, tumultuous, distressing.

I would do it all again.

Because it felt like waking up after years of being trapped in the same suffocating nightmare.

I’m starting to see me again. Or perhaps discover a me I never knew existed.

I still have times when the brakes on the rollercoaster fail and I race out of control. But I’m better at finding the emergency stop button before I spin off the rails completely.

I’m full of imperfections and pain and worries and struggles. I’m also full of empathy, understanding, intelligence, gentleness and wit. I’ve had to fight myself and the legacy others left me for most of my life. I used to think I was weak and broken. But now I know I’m strong. It doesn’t always feel that way, but I am. Otherwise, I wouldn’t still be here. I’ve made changes that have been so brutally hard but so necessary to try and build a life worth living.

And I’m doing it as me. Someone who’s awake, not stumbling through life in a false dreamworld. Or I’m getting there anyway.

I am not BPD. I’m not a label or a diagnosis. There is life beyond the borderline.

We are aware some of the content of this post may be distressing for readers.

If you have been impacted by what you have read or if you need to speak to someone, please reach out for relevant support:

  • Samaritans - 116 123 (freephone)
  • Breathing Space - 0800 83 85 87 (freephone)
Blog Author
RCPsych in Scotland

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